THE MOST INTIMATE PHRASE OF THE DAY

 

I WOKE UP AT DAWN AND I FELT YOU.

THE MOST BEAUTIFUL FEELING IN THE WORLD

 The most beautiful feeling in the world is when you receive a note that reads like this:

"TO: MY NEWFOUND FRIEND

Written: January 28, 2022, 4:00 am, Background: Just want to give back something unique. After all, I can't sleep anymore after taking a pee. I was lost and alone Floating in the sea of life on my own. Then I heard a voice to go to that place To find me a solace. I came not knowing what to expect Except for the fact that I needed a lift. I didn’t know you, You don’t know me But I freely unburdened what’s inside of me. You listened, I was partially relieved. For in my heart I said, “Ah that’s what I needed An ear ready to listen and to receive.” Days passed by with you on my side Not preaching, not demanding. You just guided this broken soul Sweetly, lovingly, unconditionally. What then can I say? Thank you? God bless you? I can say it a hundred times. But the best is to tell you, “Thank you for your unconditional love And my dear, I just want to give you back an unconditional love as well.” Bestie? BFF? From: Your newfound friend

And this is my reply:

Hi bestie, or should I call you besh? Bff? Bae? Bro?  It doesn't matter, for after all, love isn't measured by endearments, I suppose.

Can two women be intimate and not sexual?

Yes, I find that in you.

With you, it's big friendship love.  Your pain feels like my pain.  Your joy feels like mine.  It's a complex thing, but I know you're my person over the long haul.

For the shortest time, I have brought our friendship to more parts of my life.  Things, memories that I never shared and opened up to anyone before just flowed out like cascading waters into the sea of healing and refreshment.  I know that with me, you felt the same, too.

You are my "womance" for life.  We're not alike in a lot of ways but our prowess on not skimping on communication is a bigger comfort.  I admire the open honesty, the ever-present helping hand, the big hugs, and the shining moments of fun and laughter.  You fill in all these without the slightest effort on your part.

Oh, that with you I feel like a plant "repotted".  Repotted to bloom more and glow more.  To bless and be given another shot at life. This is the setting our friendship has started.  Will we be colossal re-potters for each other over time?  Only God knows for sure.

Thank you, bigtime.  My friend, my love, my angel.

EULOGY FOR A GREAT FATHER, PAPA TEM

Good evening.  Let me begin by thanking everyone of you for coming tonight. I know that there are some of you who have travelled far like my sister, Sharon and my brother in law, Junjan and nephew Peniel.  Many of you here are first generation witnesses as to how my father has lived his life as lovingly, thoughtfully and bravely up to the end.

How and when does one die?  A man once said,, “The idea is to die young as late as possible.”

At 88 years old, Papa never stopped taking adventures even  to the point of risking his health and life for the sake of service to his wife, children, friends, and even for people he did not know but who were in need.  Isa sa pinaka favorite niya nga passage sa Bible is the story of the good samaritan.  In most of our chats about  service, he would often ask, “Who is your neighbor?”  Is the help that you extend to your neighbor limited only to those whom you like and rub elbows with?  Anyone who is in need is your neighbor.  Papa has a big heart for the needy.  Mao na ang iyang giila nga neighbor, layo man or maduol sa iya in distance. Even ang last niya nga100 pesos sa iyang bulsa ihatag pa gyud na niya basta naay mangayo nga nagkinahanglan kaayo.  

Pinaka di niya gusto is kanang dili sya kalaag kay grabe gyud kalaagan.  He loves talking to people from all walks of life regardless of status, ma bata, ma tiguwang, babae, lalaki, niwang tambok, gwapa, gwapo, batig nawng basta tawo, dili alien hehehe.  He was very empathetic.  He is no cynic. He always look for the good in every person.  He valued character over status.

This covid19 pandemic wherein seniors need to stay home was just too much for him. Ana siya, mora man kog piniriso ani.   But he always finds a way. Ang iyang schedule every morning after he did his morning walk and walked his and Aj’s dog, Bruno, was to go to my house and eat papaya or mango and drink coffee.  Bisan pag hatdan namo siyag papaya sa ilaha, magpasumangil gihapon ug adtos amoa para lang kalaag ug maka chika chika and then magduyan duyan dayun sa garden nila Lea and Marcial.  After that, he will say uy, naa pa man diay koy paliton sa San Vicente merkado.  “Ayawg adto Pa, kay covid karun.  Ipasugo nalang nako imung paliton.”  Muingon ra siya ug ok pro paggawas sa balay, muhaguros gihapon sa iyang motor  padung San Vicente.  Badlongon gyud kaayo nga maas.  My constant prayer then was that God would just protect him and make him invisible to the enemy which is covid19.  Even if covid19 has Papa's name, nga protektahan siya sa Ginoo nga ilikay siya.  And God was so gracious.  Wala gyud siya na covid sa sige niyang sibat sibat.  Usahay pa gani kuno muabot sa Imadejas sa iyang mga amigo didto.  He was unstoppable.

Papa taught us that public service is noble and necessary; that one can serve with integrity and hold true to the important values like faith and family.  He strongly believed that it was important to give back to the community in which one lived.  He recognized that serving others enriched the giver’s soul.

He had an enormous capacity to give of himself.  Many a person would tell you that Papa became a mentor and a father figure in their life.  He listened and he consoled.  He was their friend.  I have read your Facebook posts about my father.  What a great second father he was, a great uncle, a great mentor.  It is so heart warming to know that he has touched your lives in small and great ways and he has left a mark in your hearts.  I just miss this endearing part of his unique personality.

He taught us what it means to be a wonderful father, grandfather, and great grand-father.  He was firm in his principles and supportive as we began to seek our own ways.  He encouraged and comforted, but never steered.  We tested his patience..I know I did… but he always responded with the great gift of unconditional love.

Papa never missed church.  He was always ready every Sunday to go and attend fellowship and service.  He loved his churchmates.  He enjoyed ministry and gave of his resources.  He loved staying after church for fellowship with other believers.  He just loved God’s family.  And he loved reading and memorizing the Word of God.  He lived by God’s word.

Papa was very intelligent.  We all know that and we have seen that.  One week before he was hospitalized, gihatag niya sa ako ang iyang original copy sa iyang picture..that newspaper publication that he graduated Cum Laude in college.  He told me to make copies of it and distribute to my siblings because he wanted us to remember how intelligent he was.  Despite his struggles in college, working full time in Congress while going to school in the evening, he managed to graduate with honors.

He liked to laugh.  He laughed at silly jokes, silly shows, silly people and if there’s nothing to laugh about, he laughed at himself.  He could tease and needle, but never out of malice.  He placed good value on a good joke.

He was a serious and disciplined man, but he could never resist the opportunity to have a laugh with friends and loved ones, given half the chance.

He loved music.  Oh, how he loved the old, romantic songs.  He sings them by heart.  He listened to the songs of Frank Sinatra, Andy Williams, Matt Monroe and their contemporaries meditatively and heartily.  In fact, he often gave us copies of his favorite songs so we can listen to them like he did.

He was close to perfect as a father.  All 10 of us siblings have a unique bonding and closeness with him.  He just knew how to adjust to our different personalities with ease and style.  His favorite random statement was “I love you” and meant it.  He was always there to help and encourage us.  He knew each of our limitations and managed to navigate within our area of boundaries.  He appreciated every detail of our stories no matter how lousy it was.  Mo "wow" lang gihapon siya bisan lousy ang among istorya.  There was a time in the hospital when I was alone with him and he needs to be lifted.  I tried to lift him up pro di ko kadaug sa iya.  He told me, “Ka bulalo mo bel” but with a wink in his eye and a smile on his face.  And we just laughed together so heartily.

Finally, everyday in his 63 years of marriage, Papa adhered to the adage, “Happy wife, happy life.”  He taught our husbands how to be great husbands by example.  He married his childhood sweetheart.  He adored her.  He loved her.  He served her.  He laughed and cried with her.  He was totally dedicated to her, our Mama Luz.

Papa, we are going to remember you for exactly that and so much more.

And we’re going to miss you terribly.  Your decency, sincerity and kind soul will stay with us forever.  Through our tears, we will always see the blessings of knowing and having you as our father - a great and noble man, a great father that a son or daughter could ever have.

And in our grief, we will smile knowing that you have done God’s will through thick and thin of spreading His word to every person you come across with.  In the middle of rejection, you were cool.  You never ran out of strategies.  If in the physical world, you were known as a political strategist, in God’s kingdom your strategies manifested after you stopped for prayer and relied on God’s leading in sharing the Word to as many people as you can.  I would say that was your finest hour of being a gifted strategist.

It’s difficult to imagine that you’re not around physically anymore and how we are going to cope.  

As we gather here today to remember and commemorate your life Pa, we bid you farewell as we mourn the loss of a lively, dignified soul.  A soul that brought t joy and fulfillment to many, and whose legacy will live on forever.

Soar high old man.  And akong maas tulo ray ngipon.  Dili gusto pataod pustiso.  I can see that smile again in your face when I tease you with that endearment Pa.

I will love you forever.  Till we meet again someday, but this time dili ra tulo imung ngipon.  You will have that complete set of white, shiny teeth.

Lastly, let me say this, Artemio Rosal Radaza, Sr., you did good.  You did real good, Major.  

Farewell and final salute.

 

EULOGY FOR A VERY LOVING MOM, MAMA LUZ

 I write this eulogy for one passionate woman who loved life and family despite her more than 30 years diagnosis of diabetes, hypertension and heart disease.  Her laughter and curiosity for new things and hobbies were no different at all.  She will always continue to be an inspiration to us all for living life to the fullest, loving and serving God, husband and children and grandchildren.

Despite her diagnosis, her selfless attitude (she was always selfless even before her diagnosis), continued as she prioritized taking care of her family and her mental and spiritual health even during the most challenging times. She underwent several surgeries in her heart and foot and had to survive countless visits to the doctor and admittance to hospitals.  She never stopped being a mother, wife and grandma who dotingly loved being with her family even while recuperating in the hospital.

My Mom was born to poor parents and had to learn to be self-sufficient at an early age.  She learned the skills of cooking, sewing, crocheting, laundry work while at the same time selling delicacies to help feed her younger brothers and sisters.

She married her one and only true love, my father Artemio Radaza, Sr., at the young age of 20.  They bore and raised 10 children.  My siblings and I didn't grow up with plenty of money, but we can never remember a single day that we didn't have anything to eat.  There was always food on the table and family mealtimes were always happy bonding moments.  

I am grateful for Mama's examples of kindness, strength and honesty.  She was a significant figure when it comes to helping the poor, feeding the hungry and caring for the weak.  Mama Luz mothered everyone so much so that my and my siblings' friends would call her Mama.  I grew up seeing my mom as a role model for cooking the most delicious meals ever.  

Mama has always been my support and strength during tough times.  Her comforting words and tender advices were my coping mechanisms when things turned out bad.  She was a proud woman who believed that there is never any obstacle in life that we cannot overcome.

I will forever miss my mama's contagious laughter, her innocent smile and bubbly personality.  I will forever miss her delicious adobo, paksiw, dinuguan and afritada.  Food has always been a big factor in our family and she mastered the art of preparing the most delectable meals ever.

I do not know how to cope without mama around.   Her absence left a big hole in my heart. It hurts.  It just hurts.  I cannot find the words to adequately express how much I miss my her.  Life will never be the same without her.  We didn't have the perfect mother-daughter relationship.  We went through endless times of laughter, but we also put up with each other's stubborness and had endless fights on a lot a of stuff.  But mom will always be mom and daughter will always be daughter.  We always ended up being there for each other during the most difficult and heartbreaking times.

Mama, I will never stop loving you.  God knows how much I miss you.  Your loss is terrible for me.  There is never a day that I do not think of you. Your memory will always be embedded in my heart, now and forevermore.  I love you Ma.  Hug Papa for me up there in heaven.  See you again, someday.  Goodbye for now.  I love you.

UNENDING THANKSGIVING

"My help comes from the Lord, the owner of heaven and earth." - Proverbs 121:2

Looking back at the first time when You prodded our hearts to build a house in Bit-os, Butuan City,..

Earlier House (2004)

It was a time of uncertainty, need and helplessness. It was a time of crying in the night, a time of seeking your face and longing for answers.

In our times of weakness, you manifest your strength. You spoke to our hearts and clearly told Ram and I to be still, and know that you are God. You told us to steward the land and work on what is in our hands. You told us to identify our area of influence and work on the hearts of men within that boundary. We could not possibly do the herculean task of declaring your sovereignty without your continuing grace in our lives. Lord, your faithfulness reaches to the clouds.

16 years of planting your Word in the hearts of men, women and children, taking care of our environment, enlarging our household with the arrival of pets and animals, my Lord, you are AWESOME. 16 years of sufficient grace. 16 years of answered prayers!

Thank you, my Lord!

Present House (2021)